


Do you want a cigarette?

by ghostpuer



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Background Relationships, Complicated Relationships, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Slow Burn, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-02-13 18:27:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21498532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostpuer/pseuds/ghostpuer
Summary: Relationships are complicated when you're in highschool, are a werewolf and dont know your sexuality.(Sirius/Remus/Snape with Snape/Lily mentioned)
Relationships: Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape, Remus Lupin/Severus Snape, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 21





	1. zippo

**Author's Note:**

> Please spare me I haven't actually published a fic in years

His breath bloomed in front of him, the air crystallized and cold. Remus had been making his way slowly up to the astronomy tower, a pack of cigarettes snugly fit in the pocket of his rather small hoodie, and wand in his wander, cast “Lumos” in his left hand. He was expecting the freezing tower to be empty, as winter was very quickly creeping up upon Hogwarts. But alas, he found himself in the company of a large black mass of a human, wrapped in a heavy blanket.  
He took a few short steps after landing on the last step, cautiously moving towards the large glassless window, where the other body was sitting. In his nervousness, his voice wavering, along with the clattering of teeth.  
“Would you mind if I sat here?”  
The figure suddenly tensed up in a matter of seconds, causing Remus to tense up, taking a step back and gripping his cigs in his pockets. There was a stiff and heavy silence that filled the air, neither saying a thing. Slowly, the figure moved to reveal himself at Severus.  
“If I can have one.” He remarked back after a few unbearable more seconds had passed. It was the voice of his bully, hoarse and unused in hours and the consumption of too many potions. Remus was left confused for a few seconds before blurting out;  
“One what?” Severus chuckled, low and gravely before pointing to his pocket, causing Remus to go beet red and a smile to cross the others face slyly.  
“If you’ve got a light, yes.” Remus began to cross the path, past all of the class equipment and brooms from other students going on midnight adventures. Just like Severus, he sat down at the opening of the large window, staring outwardly at the stars, but facing his classmate.  
Severus stared right back, an indecisive look washed upon his face, as he pulled at his zippo from the Slytherin dress robe he wore underneath the blanket. Remus began pulling the cigarettes out of his pocket, struggling a bit with his pocket barely being big enough to fit the box in them. The hoodie was quite old, as he had held onto it since he was in primary school. It was one of his favorites, a simple warm brown hoodie with beige stripes across the sleeves. It had become faded and worn over the years, but he refused to part with it.  
As he pulled the two out for the both of them and laid the nearly crushed box on the floor next to where they were sitting He handed one to Severus, and motioned for the lighter so he could light his own between his lips. The black-haired potion aster frowned rather heavily, pulling the zippo to hold back, and up above his head. Remus sputtered in place, looking rather dumbfounded. There was a rather lengthy pause, as they both kept strong eye contact. Remus had knitted his eyebrows together and pulled a pout across his face. Snape lowered his zippo, flicking it open.  
“Beautiful people do not light there own cigarettes.” He said simply after a huffed breath. Remus stared at him, looking nearly angry for a moment before giving up and leaning in to light his cigarette. The zippo was handed to Remus, and he took a moment to close it, looking at the snake that had been engraved into the casing, its eye winking at it as it curled nearly the opening. Severus took a moment to loudly clear his throat before eyeing up his lighter.  
“I-Ah. I see.” Remus’ face light up red once again, as his shoulders raised and his back slouched towards the other. He flicked it open once more and pulled his arm outwards to light Severus’ cig. He got a rare smile from the Slytherin. Snape reaches up to take his lighter back, and their hands brushed for just a second. Remus sucked in a breath, pulling his hand away like he had been hurt. There was a stiff silence, neither wanting to make eye contact after that had happened. The only sound between the two of them was the drag of the cigarettes and the occasional owl hooting in the nearby forest.  
“I’m sorry.” That had gotten the attention of Severus. Remus had a serious tone in his voice, making dead eye contact with his smoking partner. The moonlight had shone through the speckled clouds, illuminating on the scars littering his jaw and cheeks. Severus felt his heart jump a bit. He had never really stopped to look at the werewolf before now. Although he was scarred and littered with freckles, there was an odd sort of messy allure to him.  
“For Sirius. I’m sorry for all the marauders. He means well but, he’s stubborn and stupid.” The Gryffindor looked away in shame, obviously have contemplated this for a while. He began talking again, his voice wavering.  
“I’ve always just watched while you’ve tormented them. And they have tormented you back. I know that there have been times that you have gone relentlessly in on me before. But it all sits so heavy in my chest. I know you’re trying hard for lily. And I’m sorry that I’ve never done anything for either party. But this has been so wonderful. YOU have been so wo-” Severus had gotten frustrated by hearing Remus’ babbling apology, and pulled him close by the strings of his sweatshirt and into a strong kiss.  
He pulled back for a second, looking rather red in the face and extremely embarrassed. Remus just gawked at him and mulled upon the thoughts in his head. He had no clue snape even QUESTIONED his sexuality. How long had he wanted to do that? The brunet looped his arms behind the others neck and gave him a small kiss on the forehead. Severus looked dumbfounded.  
“Why did you let me?” Snape asked after a few minutes of silence. They had stayed in the same position, Remus almost cuddling him, and Severus with his head bowed and back slumped. Remus stayed quiet for the next few moments, unsure of how to answer his question.  
“Why did you kiss me?” Was the only thing he retorted with and drew back to fetch his pack of cigarettes and the zippo from Severus’ fingers. He lit himself one and waited for a response.  
“You are one of the only people to ever apologize. One of the only people to look me in the eyes and say they enjoy my company. I was stirring in my thoughts alone before you came, but you’re like a light. I enjoy your presence.” Severus had finally spoken up, as Remus moved closer to rest his head on his shoulder. There was a sort of calmness that fell over both of them. Severus lifted his hand that once had the lighter in it to tangle it in the Gryffindor’s hair.  
“I kissed you back because I think you’re a gent.” Remus said soft, to which he got a chuckle out of snape.


	2. Envelope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, and Remus is feeling not so well, and his bestfriend is very worried about him.

It had been weeks since Remus so much as said hello to the Slytherin. He was all nerves, wound up so tight he thought that anything good would melt in front of his eyes. Recently, there seemed like the magic buzzing inside these stone walls had gone cold, unfriendly, and unkind. Lily and James had begun to date officially, and he had seen something from Severus that he didn’t know he was capable of.

The hatred in his eyes, burning holes through the werewolf’s skull. He had been used to this sort of treatment his whole life, from his own family, as well as outsiders catching a glimpse of his true nature. It twisted inside his intestines, feeling him with a cold and sharp fear that, no matter how good he could try to be, he was never going to be the same as everyone else. It made him feel dirty, like an unwashed pot that’s been boiled over too many times to hold shape any longer.

He had never expected that from Severus. The cold. It messed with his head, creeping into his thoughts when most inconvenient. He wanted to shout at him, beat him up for being so kind, and then leaving him with nothing but an empty heart and lungs full of smoke. He felt so lost and alone, especially when the late nights staying up with the marauders, smoking, and drinking until the wee hours of the morning, the conversation would shift to Snape.

Remus would shift uncomfortably as James would begin to rant about the man, spitting his name out like a fowl and rancid swig of butterbeer. Sirius could tell it made him uneasy, sitting through and listening. But really, why should Remus care for him? Sirius thought bitterly to himself. Severus was always quick to throw insults, never caring for the other. Remus had told him about that night, his face practically aglow with happiness. And all Sirius could feel was the unease that his friend was being used. It hurt. It hurt worse than getting hexed by the Slytherin for telling him to piss off and let Remus be happy.

He hadn’t told Remus exactly all the details yet. But he knew that Snape was getting worse, with Lily always present by James’ side, they were getting into more scrabbles with him than ever.

Sirius had been brainstorming throughout the day, was to tell him. The fight had weighed heavily in his mind, making him miserable. So, maybe his intentions were selfish beyond belief. He didn’t care. He had seen how sad Remus had been, huge circles underlining his eyes and barely eating, or sleeping. He was a mess and it was all Sirius’ fault.

Or maybe it was just Snape being Snape, he thought to himself.

Sirius pulled a paper from his spiral, ripping the edges out, and slapped it in the middle of the potions book he was supposed to be answering quiz questions from. In rushed, sloppy handwriting he wrote;

“Hey, dude! Meet me after class in the room, I’ve got something to tell you.”

Wasn’t much, but got the idea across long enough for him to think about what he wanted to say to the other. Pulling out his ward, he mumbled a spell to send the piece of paper up in the air, folding in on itself to make a rabbit before hopping around Remus’ desk, where he was doing his classwork. He snorted out a short wry laugh at the way it hopped into his book, before tapping its nose and letting the paper unfurl and drop itself dramatically. 

He scanned it over as Sirius watched from across the room. Remus gave him a thumbs up before pointing down at his textbook and mouth “don’t slack off.” before returning to his studies.

Remus wasn’t stupid. He could feel the shifting of eyes when the note hopped its way over to him and linger when there wasn't anything interesting happening anymore. If he really wanted to say something other than telling you you dont belong there, he would, remus argued to himself. He sighed, long and hard before letting his head hit the desk with a muffled thud.

He knew that Sirius had done something, but hadn't brought it up in front of James or Wormtail for a reason. He might be jealous of the attention he awarded severus. Or the feelings themselves. He wasn't sure. They had always been as thick as thieves, just the two of them. Was Snape worth the trouble?

He couldn't answer that. He didn't want to know the answer. Remus wanted to believe that Snape was a good person, as much as he wanted to believe that he was also a good person. Houses, species, it didn't matter to him. Any one should be able to be good in their own rights. But , the world doesn't always work like that, does it? He reminded himself of the existence of Lucius  Malfoy, the evil motherfucker that hadn't said a word to him in two years. Whatever. Remus picked his head back up and decided to push through the last few questions he had and spare himself homework for later.

Snape had been watching him since them, dark eyes glimmering with a plan, just beginning to brew in the back of his head. Severus had taken the beating from Sirius , but found himself scared to talk to Remus. Not because of his idiot of a best friend, but didnt know what to say. He wanted this to work, but knew that the reality of the situation was grim. This couldn't be more than a highschool crush.

A highschool crush isn't supposed to punch you in the mouth and call you a mudblood, either. What exactly was Lupin even getting from this.

That class seemed to go on for the next millenia, before the professor sighed and told them the lesson time was over. Remus stood up from his chair and pulled his robe on, having shucked it off halfway through class. He stacked his books quietly before putting them in his bag only to be tapped on the shoulder. The room was still pretty full of students, and Sirius wasn't exactly paying attention. Severus stood in his sight, not saying anything but slipping remus a small envelope. Lupin stared at him wide eyed, unsure of what sort of tone he should be taking with this person, now that they're outside of his head. He felt the hand that had touched his shoulder go to his hand, pressing the paper there before finally saying something.

“Please just read this.” Severus said almost a little quietly to him. Remus nodded his head quickly, face going red from the hand contact. Goddamn it. The slytherin turned on his heel, books in one arm and the other dipping into his robe pocket and made his way towards the exit, nearly bumbling shoulders with Sirius.

The air was tense for a moment around Sirius afterwards, before he continued towards Remus, to stop by the room of requirement to talk. He decided not to comment on his frazzled appearance, thinking it would probably just make him feel worse. The two of them stayed quiet, Remus following behind him as they went down the flights of stairs and to a base floor, where the dire crackled and hissed into existence.

Sirius opened the door for the other Gryffindor, bowing with a goofy grin as he passed. The room was nearly entirely empty, with a large fireplace and a few chairs next to it. Remus sat in a larger black chair, setting down his book bag on the floor and smoothing down his pant legs with his hand.

“What is it, padfoot? I really hope you're going to be serious.” Remus said almost flatly, watching Sirius sit down across from him, pushing his hair from out of his face.

“Remember when a month or so ago you told me about that night in the astronomy tower?” Sirius was being serious, his face was as hard as stone, his hands on his legs were shaking. Fuck, man.

“Yes?” Remus said, swallowing thickly. Damn him, he thought he wouldn't actually tell him like this.

“Well, about week after that i was partnered with Snape-Severus- and he started to talk about you. About how easy you were to convince, and I couldn't stand it. You know how he can get under my skin like that. But after the class, we got into a fight. And i told him to stay the fuck away from you. I know it wasn't my place but, i feel like this is eating me from the inside out, Moony. Im sorry.” Good lord could Sirius really belt out some words when he was nervous. Remus pulled himself closer to the other, reaching his hands out to grasp the others. There were a long few moments of silence, as Sirius collected himself, allowing his breath to go shallow.

“Sirius. I love you, and I have since we met. Something like this wouldnt make me hate you, but i think youre stupid because of it and im kind of peeved but. Buy me a round next time we go to Hogsmeade.”

There was silence again, as Sirius lifted his head to make eye contact with the other, before leaning forward to put his forehead to Remus’.

bonk

Things would be okay, he reasoned with himself. The envelope in his robe pocket suddenly became very heavy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY FUCK ITS BEEN A YEAR HAHAHAHAHAHHA Anywa yahh s I wrote the first chapter when I was with a partner who loves snape so I'm not sure what to do with this fic :")


End file.
